Pre-Engagement
Roka / Thaka
ਰੋਕਾ / ਥਾਕਾ
The first formal step — both families agree to the match.
The bride’s family visits the groom’s home (or a neutral venue) to ‘roka’ him from considering other matches. Sweets, fruit, and shagun are exchanged. Often the very first time both families sit together formally.
A little history
Historically the roka was when elders made the verbal commitment in front of witnesses — long before any rings, dates, or invitations. In Punjabi villages it was sometimes called ‘thaka’ (to stop). Today it’s usually the smallest and most intimate event of the wedding journey.
Who attends
Immediate family from both sides only — parents, siblings, grandparents, and a handful of close uncles/aunties. No friends, no extended cousins.
Typical guests
10–25 people
What to plan
- Decide on host home or restaurant
- Box of mithai (kaju katli, ladoo, pinni)
- Dry fruits and seasonal fruit basket
- Shagun envelope from bride’s side
- Outfit (semi-formal, kurta or simple suit)
- A small gift for the groom (watch, kara, ring optional)
Samaan checklist
Avoid these mistakes
- Don’t over-invite — keep it intimate or it loses meaning
- Confirm dietary restrictions (some elders are strictly vegetarian)
- Photographer is optional — most families do it on phones
Ready to plan?
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